Self-Righteous Beeks

Hunger Swarm BBJ 2 - 8 August 1907

This weekend has reaffirmed profiles I have created about certain types of people. Today in my people profiling study, I turn my attention to the self-righteous and more specifically, self-righteous beeks (beekeepers).

There are people who have unfulfilled ‘needs’ and these unmet ‘needs’ manifest in self-righteous attacks.  My theory is that the self-righteousness attack is a way to dominate another, and by doing so (usually in front of others) they project their (lack of) status.  I also theorise that the brain gives the body a dopamine hit in return for successfully undertaking a self-righteousness attack.

However, the success of a self-righteous attack does heavily rely on the would-be victim being subservient to the act.  It also relies on the perpetrator having more expertise than the victim in the area of knowledge from which (s)he is launching the self-righteous attack from.  If these two attributes are deficient to the perpetrator, (s)he can look like a complete fanny/dick-head.

This weekend I had two ‘self-righteous’ attacks attempted upon my person by fellow beeks who visited my stall disguised as customers.

The first beek stated that she was on the ‘Committee’ for Wantage Beekeepers and said she hadn’t seen me at the AGM.  This decoded means ‘why didn’t you attend the AGM?’ [please insert lecture about its your association and it needs its members to participate yah de yah de yah yah].  The reason I don’t do AGM’s is because I don’t want to be press-ganged onto the Committee and then have to commune with self-righteous beeks.

She declared that one of her three hives had yielded 59lbs of honey! (Hey beat that sucker!) Through questioning her for a minute it turned out she had been keeping bees for five seconds and she knew very little about beekeeping.  To help this confused beek, I corrected her that the name of the organisation she was a Committee member of was the ‘Vale and Downland Beekeepers Association’. She eventually went away and I could resume serving real customers again.

The second beek (aka Beek2) who visited my stall the next day had an issue with the amount of money I was charging for my honey.  I was charging £4.50 and he was charging about £5.00; this was a difference of about 12%.  Beek2 was not a stallholder at this event.  I was content with my price and by the end of the event I had sold all of my jars of honey that I had brought with me; the last jar was sold 15 minutes before the event finished.  I explained to Beek2 that my price was within a reasonable price range for honey being sold in the area.

Beek2 said he puts a ‘lot’ number on his honey jar labels and I should do the same to show customers when the honey came off the hive etc.  On closer inspection of my honey he saw I had a lot number on my honey jar label which gave similar information.  I said to him, ‘to be frank with you, I am not doing much differently from what you are doing, so what is the issue?’  He eventually went away and I could then resume serving real customers again.

The trouble with beeks is that we turn into the creatures we look after, and the coxis bone in our backs turns into a sting.  But please remember my fellow beeks, that unless you can successfully transmute into a Queen-bee instead of a worker-bee, then you have only one shot at using your self-righteous sting!







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